Values and Goals are very distinct concepts, however being able to work with both of them at the same time, enables us to engage in more meaningful actions and can provide us with a powerful tool to assist us in decision-making processes.

Values represent what is important to us in our life

Values they are our most profound wish for how we want to behave as a person in the world and how we want to be with ourselves and others.

Values are not about our goals or achievements, they are about the way we want to act and be in the world and with others. Our values, that is, what is most important to us, develop from our own life experiences, the problems we face and how we chose to resolve them.

Values are attached to an ongoing behaviour, for instance ‘being a good parent’ is a value which is attached to the behaviour of consistently being mindful of one’s family.

On the other hand, a goal is an objective that we have for ourselves, for instance ‘I want to get a job’ is a goal, not a value, because after we do get a job, that goal is achieved.

Our society emphasises and promotes being goal oriented

This is well reflected in how we place a lot of importance in achieving certain goals in life (e.g. getting married, having children, buying a house and a car etc). However, this way of looking at life can be quite reductive, because when our goals do not align with our values, we are often left feeling like we are going through life just ticking boxes.

If someone’s goal is to make a certain amount of money, but in doing so they are not living by their value to spend time with their family and friends, then achieving the goal of earning a good income might not be as meaningful as what they initially thought it would be.

Values give meaning to our life and most importantly, they can provide us with a sense of direction when we are unsure in which way we want our lives to go. When we connect with our values, our actions and our goal become more meaningful especially when we are facing difficult experiences.

When our goals align with our values, we might feel more motivated and energised when undertaking new tasks or learning new skills. Russ Harris (2019) talks about committed action when explaining how to translate values into ongoing and effective behaviours.

How do we clarify our values?

To understand our values, it helps to look at ourselves from the outside, so that we can clarify what guides our actions.

Harris (2019) suggests we could picture the following scenario:

Imagine it your 80th birthday. Two or three people make speeches about what you stand for, what you mean to them, the role you played in their life. In an ideal world, where you have lived your life as the person you want to be, what would you hear them saying?

Clarifying one’s values is a very important exercise because it allows us to decide on a course of actions, it can provide guidance around which goal to prioritize when we are pulled in different direction, and it can provide us with clarity around what we want to stand for in life.

Similarly, we can also chose our values, which in turn enables us to make a conscious decision to live life differently, to learn new behaviours and practice new skills and step into the person that we want to be.